If you happen to knew that regardless of how laborious you tried, success was inconceivable or virtually inconceivable, would you continue to push your self to the restrict? Or would you rationally pivot to a different endeavor with an actual probability of success? Personally, if the chances have been overwhelmingly in opposition to me, I’m unsure I’d trouble attempting so laborious.
Since my youngsters have been born, I’ve observed a rising development: extremely educational Asian American college students with stellar GPAs and high SAT scores getting rejected from most of their top-choice faculties. That is widespread for a lot of college students, particularly as admissions charges plummet due partly to the convenience of making use of by way of the Frequent App. Nevertheless, the problem appears much more pronounced for Asian candidates.
Though Asian People make up solely about 7% of the U.S. inhabitants, they aren’t thought of a minority group eligible for preferential therapy in faculty admissions, jobs, or promotions. As an alternative, primarily based on common SAT and ACT scores by race, it seems they have to rating greater than different teams simply to have an equal probability of acceptance. The Supreme Courtroom acknowledged this disparity when it ruled against affirmative action on June 29, 2023.
When variety, fairness, and inclusion (DEI) turned a dominant motion after George Floyd’s killing in 2020, Asian People have been largely omitted of the racial justice dialog—despite the fact that they, too, have confronted discrimination and hate. I get it—Asians have the highest median income among all racial groups, so why prioritize a bunch that’s perceived as doing effectively?
However what for those who’re a poor Asian from a damaged household? In that case, you would possibly simply be out of luck.
College students May Have Loved Life Extra
Throughout the pandemic, I had an epiphany: What’s the purpose of my youngsters learning so laborious if their possibilities of getting right into a high faculty—and touchdown a promising job afterward—are slim to none?
As an alternative of stressing over straight As, high SAT scores, varsity sports activities, membership management, and curing most cancers, why not allow them to totally take pleasure in their youth? All this intense stress to get right into a high faculty would not appear wholesome.
The rise in despair and anxiousness amongst highschool college students is alarming, with many feeling relentless stress to excel. Some even take their very own lives as a result of they don’t really feel ok academically. We can’t let that occur. I refuse to let my daughter and son undergo below the burden of status and money on the expense of their well-being.
A Higher, Happier Childhood When You Have No Probability
Think about waking up excited to go to high school—not for grades, however for the sake of studying. You’d give attention to topics you care about and just do sufficient to go those you don’t just like the quiet quitters at present. Because the odds of getting right into a high 25 college are so low, you’d be content material with a B-average and a sub 1,200 SAT rating. With decrease expectations, you’d really feel grateful for no matter faculty you do get into.
What a incredible Ok-12 expertise! I used to be all in on this concept—no Tiger Dad stress, no pushing my youngsters to grind for a top-tier college simply to purchase an expensive house close to work to turn into bankers working below fluorescent lights for 60 hours every week. I’ve been there, and it’s not enjoyable, even when the cash was good.
As an alternative, they may go to community college, save a fortune, and pursue careers they really take pleasure in. And with the $700,000+ every that will have in any other case gone to personal college tuition, I’d discover a option to present them monetary safety early.
Then issues modified in 2025. Intense merit-based rewards got here again into focus below the brand new administration.

The Analogy Of Decrease Taxes Hurting Your Life-style
To assist clarify the damaging of merit-based reward, let’s take a look at tax coverage for example.
When taxes are reduce, folks work tougher as a result of they get to maintain extra of their earnings. In idea, that is nice—particularly if the federal government has been losing taxpayer {dollars}.
However the issue with working tougher and longer is that money is addictive. Many individuals don’t know when to cease, even after they’ve sufficient. Quick-forward 40 years, and the wealthy banker or techie would possibly surprise why they spent a lot time chasing cash after they might have been doing one thing extra fulfilling.
I see this habit to wealth on daily basis by way of Monetary Samurai. Folks value hundreds of thousands of {dollars} struggling to be glad. It’s extraordinarily laborious to stop being profitable, even for those who hate your job. That’s why I began writing about FIRE in 2009—to provide folks the braveness and monetary framework to stroll away from work they despise and do one thing they love.
Sure, making some huge cash and investing correctly is nice. However for those who maintain sacrificing time for more cash when you have already got sufficient or are on observe to die with loads, it’s a rattling disgrace.
I left work in 2012, partly as a result of I did not need to pay ~40% of my revenue to the federal government for the privilege of working 60 hours every week and feeling consistently burdened. So in a manner, I am grateful for President Obama for elevating my federal marginal revenue tax fee to 39.6% and giving me the inducement to interrupt free. Paying one other 12.3% tax to California plus one other 7.2% in FICA tax was merely not value it anymore.

Benefit-Primarily based Reward Can Additionally Harm Your Life-style
On the floor, rewarding people based solely on merit sounds honest. But it surely may be a entice for probably the most bold amongst us.
When folks notice they will get forward by outworking their friends, they’ll just do that. A 60-hour workweek turns into 70 hours. Then 80. Then 90. The arms race for extra by no means ends till we make it cease.
Identical to cash habit is tough to stop, merit-based competitors is, too. When you understand effort immediately correlates with reward, it’s robust to carry again. If I used to be paid primarily based on efficiency at my previous job at Credit score Suisse, I’d have for positive lasted for not less than one other 5-10 years.
Immediately, if I knew I might outpace AI from stealing my content material simply by writing extra, I’d maintain going indefinitely. However I acknowledge my window of opportunity could also be closing quick. That’s why I’ve invested in the very companies working to make me obsolete. In the event that they’re going to remove my retirement dream, not less than I plan to revenue within the course of!

Rejected Asian American Goes Straight To A Dream Job
Take Stanley Zhong. He had a 3.97 unweighted GPA, a 4.42 weighted GPA, and a near-perfect 1590 SAT rating at Gunn Excessive College. He even based his personal document-signing startup and tutored underserved youngsters in coding.
But, he was rejected by 16 faculties, together with MIT, Carnegie Mellon, Stanford, UC Berkeley, UCLA, UCSD, UCSB, UC Davis, Cal Poly San Luis Obispo, Cornell College, College of Illinois, College of Michigan, Georgia Tech, Caltech, College of Washington and College of Wisconsin.
Good gracious! UC Davis has a 42% acceptance rate! Did Stanley write one thing offensive in all his essays? That might be laborious to imagine given he has such a considerate father and useful faculty counselors.
After I first heard the information in 2023, I used to be shocked. Stanley might have been my son. And if he wasn’t ok, what probability did my youngsters have? Lower than 1% of scholars can obtain the tutorial scores Stanley achieved. For a second, I felt defeated. Why trouble attempting? Prime universities will merely use subjective causes akin to personality scores to clarify why a scholar was rejected.
However then one thing outstanding occurred.
As an alternative of going to varsity, Stanley landed a PhD-level engineering function at Google—a job most pc science grads from the very colleges that rejected him would kill for. Making $200,000+ proper out of highschool is a dream come true.
Stanley proved his naysayers improper.
Constructing Expertise Turns into En Vogue Once more
His story made me rethink. Benefit received out ultimately—not in faculty admissions, however within the job market, the last word finish objective. Companies, not like universities, want one of the best employees to create one of the best merchandise and maximize income.
If probably the most elite employers with the biggest steadiness sheets like Google and Meta can now not afford to disregard advantage, the identical will occur throughout smaller corporations. Benefit is much more essential if you’re an entrepreneur. There may be nowhere to cover for those who’re the one doing a lot of the work.
Then, in February 2025, Stanley and his father sued the University of California for racial discrimination. Regardless of the hate they obtained, they pressed ahead for future Asian American college students who would possibly face the identical bias.
In the event that they win, it might imply extra certified Asian People will get into public universities that obtain authorities funding. Are you able to think about paying property taxes for 18 years solely in your straight-A youngsters to get rejected? Finally, a lawsuit victory ought to profit one of the best college students of all races.
So, that loopy dream I had—of Asian American youngsters having fun with a low-stress, joyful childhood—might need to attend. For now, advantage is again in focus, which suggests lengthy hours of learning, intense competitors in extracurriculars, and large stress. If we determine to go this route, we most discover a option to at all times be encouraging and supportive.
However the pendulum might swing once more in time.
Deal with Your Mother and father Nicely
No matter what occurs, one reality stays: be good to your mother and father.
Faculties and employers might reject you, however your mother and father probably by no means will. They’ll do no matter it takes to provide you alternatives and, in the end, be sure that you are glad.
And in the event that they’ve been good with their cash—investing by way of a largely bull market—they could have extra wealth than you notice. When the time comes for school, a automobile, or perhaps a home, they could simply cover everything for you.
As a father or mother myself, I consistently battle the urge to provide my youngsters all the pieces. However I do know that if I do, I threat making them entitled and mushy.
Nonetheless, if my son and daughter develop into accountable, form adults who select careers that genuinely assist others, it’ll be robust to not give them monetary help after they want it.
When Your Greatest Is Not Good Sufficient: Hold On Going
So regardless of your race, your greatest wager is to maintain striving even in case you have little-to-no probability of succeeding. Your satisfaction is at stake. Even for those who face rejection after rejection, keep in mind—rejection is simply the worth of success.
Hold pushing. Hold grinding. Even when the chances are stacked in opposition to you, your laborious work will finally repay in methods which can be laborious to forecast.
Readers, how do you are feeling about attempting your greatest regardless of the lengthy odds of success? Are you upset in regards to the hyper give attention to advantage, or do you welcome the elevated incentive to work laborious? Why do you assume college students like Stanley Zhong, with near-perfect educational information, get rejected by so many high faculties? Does this show the significance of writing good essays?
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